This interview is for “Hailing Hellions,” a Q&A series where I interview sex workers (or ex-sex workers) who have modeled for me and my Sex Positivity* book project. Today’s guest is Harmony Corrupted!
*The longer title being Sex Positivity versus Sex Coercion, or Gothic Communism: Liberating Sex Work under Capitalism through Iconoclastic Art (2023). Part of an overarching movement that connects sex positivity to what I call “Gothic (gay-anarcho) Communism,” Sex Positivity essentially provides a hybrid; i.e., one established between academic (Gothic, queer, game and Marxist) theories, and wherein applied theory towards universal liberation is achieved by challenging Capitalist Realism (the inability to imagine a world beyond Capitalism) at a grassroots level. To it, Gothic Communism specifically occurs through direct mutual worker action and informed intersectional solidarity relayed through Gothic poetics: BDSM, monsters, and kink, but specifically what I call “ludo-Gothic BDSM.” If you’re curious about the book and want to know more, the first four volumes (and additional information) are available for free (the series is non-profit) on my website’s 1-page promo.
General CW: BDSM, Gothic content and theatrics (e.g., rape play and death theatre), as well as sex worker abuse and bigotry of various kinds (variable per interview)
Note: All images are of the model or myself unless otherwise stated.
Permissions: Any publicly available images are exhibited for purposes of education, transformation and critique, thus fall under Fair Use; private nude material and collabs with models are specifically shared with permission from the original model(s). For more details about artist permissions, refer to the book disclaimer.
Concerning Buggy Images: Sometimes the images on my site don’t always load and you get a little white-and-green placeholder symbol, instead. Sometimes I use a plugin for loading multiple images in one spot, called Envira Gallery, and not all of the images will load (resulting in blank white squares you can still right-click on). I‘ve optimized most of the images on my site, so I think it’s a server issue? Not sure. You should still be able to access the unloaded image by clicking on the placeholder/right-clicking on the white square (sometimes you have to delete the “?ssl=1” bit at the end of the url). Barring that, completed volumes will always contain all of the images, whose PDFs you can always download on my 1-page promo.
About the series: Like the book series it attaches to, “Hailing Hellions” aims to educate and critique; i.e., by raising awareness towards sex worker rights, but also gender-non-conformity through Gothic counterculture. This extends to gender identity (e.g., trans, enby or intersex) but also orientation and performance; i.e., BDSM and sex positivity through various Gothic theatrical roles that invite things beyond vanilla, heteronormative (thus conservative, reactionary and harmful) sexuality. I would consider this to be things like mommy dommes and consent-non-consent, breeding fantasies and heavy metal (e.g., Satanic material and the Gothic at large). Also, these questions are broader insofar as they cover wide praxial/poetic ideas and concepts. Regarding these, the opinions of the subject and myself are not identical, but often overlap through us collaborating together to raise awareness.
About the interviewee: This interview is with Harmony Corrupted, a good friend and someone I met in February 2024. They are one of my cover models, having actually been been on two covers (re: the Poetry Module in 5/1/2024 and Undead Module in 9/6/2024) and with plans to appear on a third cover (my final book for this series, the Praxis Volume, TBA). Harmony flat out rules; i.e., I originally dedicated the Poetry Module to them while writing it, in early April 2024. Except, I’ve also compiled Harmony’s portfolio—from specifically working with me—on my special webpage dedicated to them; if you want to check out more of their solo work, though, you can support them on Fansly at a very affordable price!
Persephone: Hi, everyone! My name is Persephone van der Waard. I’m a trans-woman erotic artist, sex worker, writer/author and researcher who specializes in cross-media studies; i.e., I have my independent PhD in Gothic poetics and ludo-Gothic BDSM (focusing on partially on Metroidvania).
Harmony, could you introduce yourself and share a little about yourself with our audience?
Harmony: Hey everyone! I’m very happy to be a part of this interview series, toss my 2 rusty cents into the discourse, and most importantly, very honored to be featured in Persephone’s amazing, groundbreaking and audacious work alongside all of her lusciously gorgeous and equally erudite, hard-working and artistically gifted arsenal of models and muses! In this interview, please do expect me to slip on a banana peel (intellectually) and land straight on my big fat manic ass!
So, since I guess I’ll have to introduce myself, no way around that… Hi! I’m Harmony, 27, I’ve been in online sex work for over 2 years now, loving it through all the good and bad times! I’m pan, a switchy fetish/kink model and… I don’t have any cool and effective punchline but just want to keep getting creative in my work, collaborate and connect with exciting people and fill the internet with more authentic, versatile, (hopefully) artistic and goofy porn!
I’m a metalhead, love art in all its forms and taking time to analyze it. I occasionally do some drawing and crafting, read, write – clearly pretty much a homebody but I do venture out on errands or walks.
Persephone: This book project views sex positivity as a liberating act. What does sex positivity mean to you? Illustrating mutual consent; i.e., can porn illustrate mutual consent when sex workers are constantly dehumanized by the profit motive and the status quo?
Harmony: To me, sex positivity is definitely a liberating mindset, too! As much as I’m tired of the term “positivity” because of it being thrown at us by corporate forces in an attempt to make us ignore the rapid degradation of quality of life worldwide that’s being orchestrated by them… I have got no better suggestion for a rephrasing at the moment.
By means of normalizing and demystifying sexuality and nudity, we can hopefully achieve much better widespread sex education and increase safety promote an open-minded outlook, improve intimacy and communication in relationships by illustrating the importance of consent and boundary setting, alongside reducing shame around sexual topics. This will also be hugely beneficial in the formative years, laying a solid foundation for a healthy attitude towards masturbation, gender identity, sexual relations and body image. Evidently, fostering a sex positive atmosphere is crucial, yet not enough and we will have to work on other aspects of our collective liberation (e.g. ensuring and codifying reproductive rights and economic, racial and gender equality) to ensure the best outcome.
It definitely is the profit motive of corporations but also the notion of “hustle culture” instilled globally that is motivating the dehumanization and exploitation of sex workers – bringing about the abusive behavior of porn studios, pimps, brothels, strip clubs, deeply bigoted figures like Andrew Tate – coupled with the lack of accountability and regulations for these toxic control systems. It is also the deep-seated hostility, demonization, criminalization and vigilantism (by the government/law enforcement and the general public) that is being promoted through a multitude of harmful ideological vehicles like right-wing politics, false Christian faith and religious moralism, incel culture, SWERFs/TERFs, the list goes on…
One way in which we can still illustrate mutual consent under these conditions is by means of emancipating ourselves in our work process – staying informed about any political action concerning us; publicly promoting and producing ethical porn; stop catering to toxic porn trends (“traps”, “painal”, “barely legal”, ahegao, etc.) created and enjoyed by revolting white cis-hets only; going independent as FSSW, online SW and porn actors/producers; rejecting management agencies, studios and any predatory “coaches, advisors”. Lastly, seeking out and favoring advertisement platforms, clip and fan sites that are strongly SW-friendly and truly have our best interest at heart, motivating our clients to gradually abandon toxic platforms like Onlyfans and Pornhub along with us and reject deeply hateful, abusive review boards like USASG. Of course, there are more things we can do but these are the ones that immediately came to mind!
Persephone: In your mind, what is the biggest struggle facing sex workers today?
Harmony: Most definitely the Trump administration, all the corporations, international fundamentalist Christian groups and countries allied with it and their ideological backbone Project 2025, clearly outlining their plan to outlaw porn, send its producers and distributors to jail, register any librarian and educator who “purveys” (notice the purposely vague wording?) porn as a sex offender and “shutter” any tech company that hosts porn.
Furthermore, the Project 2025 text opines that porn shouldn’t be protected by the First Amendment rights, equates it with the exploitation of women and its consumption to drug addiction, criminalizes it and smears it as perpetuating pedophilia and the “trans agenda”. Based on this framing, we can see that not only will the adult entertainment industry be targeted but the definition of pornography will be expanded willy-nilly to serve the Christofascist goals of fundamentally criminalizing and attacking the queer, POC and trans communities.
Thus, inherent nihilism (continuously, overtly and covertly propagated by various media over the course of several decades) that’s resulting in more and more “apolitical” people, worsened by dire economic conditions and rising inequality, has already cultivated a perfect atmosphere for the implementation of fascism, reeling in many to switch to the “Dark Side” before Trump had even taken office.
Persephone: How do you feel about sex work being work, thus paying sex workers for their labor? This can be unions, but also their representations in media at large.
Harmony: Most definitely, sex work is legitimate work and the reporting on it needs to stop centering around ogling privileged top creators and their earnings (who in most cases started doing sex work on an existing basis of fame), salacious, degrading stories (e.g., gloating at SWer murders) and overfocusing on known scammers while simultaneously denigrating the legitimacy of the field and appropriating our aesthetics in popular culture. Worldwide efforts for sex workers to unionize already exist (e.g. the International Sex Worker Union run out of the UK) and although I don’t participate myself (yet), I try to stay informed about it as much as time allows.
To readers, I recommend checking out Pandora Blake’s, Siri Dahl’s and SWOP USA’s activism.
Persephone: What are your thoughts on Communism vs Capitalism using Gothic poetics? Can monsters be gay Commies?
Harmony: Monsters can be gay Commies insofar as the latter group is being scapegoated by fake/hypocritical religious moralists who tend to be closely aligned with corporate entities.
By means of filling the marketplace of ideas with our content, for example speaking publicly and bluntly about our day-to-day life and work experiences, laying out our demands for acceptance and respect, showcasing our work/art and participating in online discourse, we can take back control of our representation from the hands of toxic filmmakers/ journalists/political commentators that only either want to ogle and belittle through glorification or demonize and entirely eliminate us. We have to create our own art thematizing our work and life in a realistic and ethical way, alongside fighting for accurate and respectful portrayals from other artists.
Persephone: What drew you to the project/interested you in working on it together with me?
Harmony: Well, first of all, you had me completely perplexed and stunned when you first approached! I had never been contacted about anything artistic before, so my curiosity was immediately piqued and I journeyed through your website and work, panicking a little about whether my kind of output would measure up.
After consulting my partner, I decided to go ahead and take the plunge. As soon as I’ve learned more about your goals, ideals and also interests all across different media, I knew we’d get along great! And once I’ve read a good portion of your work, it was clear that our political views and goals align! The array of awesome artwork you had created, sourced and commissioned was also thoroughly impressive!
I kept thinking: this is the exact kind of stuff we need in the world to raise awareness, organize as sex workers and hopefully even increase media literacy (in regards to analysis and political/historical context). Unfortunately, not many people take those topics and connections seriously and I have made many encounters and hangouts awkward by bringing them up. In some select cases, that lead me to sever friendships. So… safe to say, I was incredibly thrilled to be part of your meaningful, ballsy and fun project! And also, to eventually befriend you!
Persephone: How has that experience been for you? Can you describe it a little?
Harmony: Nothing short of awesome! We quickly became friends while working together and getting to know one another, sharing ideas and ranting, swapping new art we find, checking in on each other’s work progress and of course also personal stuff.
I like catching up on your writing and art when I can, enjoying your insights and your eloquent, witty penmanship. Thank you for involving me in your process and sharing your WIP with me!
Your custom requests are among the most detailed and exciting ones I’ve ever done and to a degree they technically challenge me, which is always very welcome! What I enjoy the most is that you create storyboards or idea boards, helping me (and others) know what you’re looking for in a commission at a glance – they can be a little overwhelming (“Will I nail this pose and angle perfectly?”) at times but you are always ready to adapt and are understanding of individual production circumstances, welcoming artistic interpretations of your examples!
When it comes to sexting/roleplaying sessions we’ve had together, I love how diverse they get and that we are able to figure out what we will be doing before we start, letting me plan my time and be better equipped. Having discussed preferences, kinks and boundaries with you upfront and agreeing on practicing direct communication at all times, we rarely ever had any problems or misunderstandings. Anytime we did have any sort of disagreement or other hiccups in the process, you’ve always shown perfect maturity, respect and understanding and I did my best to offer you the same. In a world full of people who are unwilling to communicate directly, be humane or compromise, talking to and working with you is a breath of fresh air.
Persephone: If you feel comfortable talking about it, can you talk about being GNC (if it applies)? What does that mean to you?
Harmony: Being GNC has always been my default modus operandi. I have never felt any need to adhere to gender roles – was happy to make friends with any fun kid, jealously eyeing the boys’ section at the clothing store, showing zero interest in makeup until after graduating high school, developing an increasingly fervent hatred for the hetero-centric wedding industry, playing with cars and Legos alongside dolls… before I start to sound like a pick-me-girl – I fucking hate driving, love gorgeous lingerie and shoes, love cooking/baking and cry easily!
Now, this was a funny little bit but quite frankly, I personally don’t see anything at all as explicitly gender-coded, hence why I am agender. If you look at the origin/history of how certain things became attached to a specific gender, there’s often a nonsensical or highly toxic reason behind it, never mind the many ways in which corporations and fascists still aggressively enforce those so-called standards in society and gatekeep them. That said, I think that demystifying and getting in touch with opposite, thus “forbidden” traditional traits/activities/objects and those of any non-binary expression are very important steps to the common individual liberation.
My parents, schoolmates and former friends tried their best to get me to feel shame for my mixed preferences but I have never taken the bait. Honestly, showing complete indifference towards this sort of policing has always been the best method to get them to leave you alone. Those were better times…
Ultimately, I acknowledge my privilege in having never faced any worse consequences for my expression because I largely pass as a cis woman but I enjoy encouraging others to shed the oppressive ideas. Let’s make gender expression a choice and a fun self-discovery process as part of our emancipation from fear-based neoliberal/corporate cultural “norms”.
Persephone: What do you enjoy most about sex work? What got you started in it?
Harmony: Oh, there are many enjoyable aspects of sex work… my favorites being getting creative (through content, promotion and sexting) and discovering new kinks! I have picked up quite a few interesting niche fetishes through my clients and became much more actively sexually open-minded, more literate in the practice of BDSM (generally and in both dominant and submissive roles) and self-confident in my erotic expression. And well, what got me started was the promise of relative freedom in practicing it, my exhibitionism and a strong interest in erotic photography and videography.
Persephone: Do you have a favorite piece of sex work that you’ve done, in terms of custom material?
Harmony: Gosh, it’s really difficult to pick just one… I try to make every custom special and catered to the person’s individual tastes (but also learn something new for myself and be inventive in implementing their vision). There’s an extended anal play custom I’ve recorded that helped me push my limits in a very healthy and enjoyable way. A tape bondage custom that hurt damn good and which I got to make into a little movie. A switchy cinematic custom that had me magically switch roles twice! An extremely fun wedgie kink video that got me doing some insane, memorable acrobatics. And an extended dick rating that miraculously turned into a multi-orgasmic playtime with a huge cock, I got to use my new lights in that one and improve my quality massively!
By the way, quick plug—these and more are all available for purchase! —Harmony
Persephone: Do you friends and family know about the work that you do? How do you talk about it with other people who aren’t sex workers; i.e., how do you communicate sex worker rights to non sex workers?
Harmony: My family doesn’t know and never will. When it comes to friends, to be honest, I’m an introvert and don’t have many in general but they’ve all met me in the adult sphere in the first place.
Whenever I enter a discussion on sex work with someone that has no connection to the field, I try to be patient, informative and understanding with the well-meaning conversation partners, coming at them from a humanitarian and holistic perspective but… stubborn SWERFs, porn thieves/ reposters, misogynistic cis men, pimps, scammers and whorephobes can fuck off, I’m not willing to be in any more debates where my moral appeals, facts and logic get countered with “nuh-uh”. This has definitely worsened because of what the cult of Trump (perfectly aligned with neoliberalism and fascist tendencies, of course) has put into our culture and media.
Persephone: What are your thoughts on TERFs in sex work; i.e., those who devalue GNC minorities (and other marginalized groups) in the same profession?
Harmony: Uh… they can fuck right off? Depending on the situation, I call them out, work on exposing them and/or block them on sight. These kinds of attitudes should have no place in society and I hope their clear connections and resulting pipeline to Christofascism will be finally noted by the sex work sphere as toxic (and the general public), resulting in these parasitic bigots being shunned.
Unfortunately, a lot of sex workers are also just completely uninterested in politics and don’t realize how corporate power and fascists have been attempting to strangle us more and more (and eventually eliminate the entire field) through various legislation and the influence of neoliberal deference politics in the left-leaning sphere.
I witnessed this myself, many times, and it’s been very difficult getting those apolitical sex workers to care but nonetheless, we must try because every single person’s awareness matters and I’d love for those people to wake up and smell the coffee before the worst happens to all of us.
Persephone: How do you feel about billionaires? Israel and Palestine?
Harmony: Oh, I can go off on both of these topics at length but will try to stay concise.
To open with a salacious but factual statement: billionaires shouldn’t exist! Simply because accruing this much individual wealth shouldn’t even be possible within the framework of free market economy (in itself obviously a very flawed concept). In other words, sensible businesspeople will agree that Adam Smith’s bones must be rattling at the sight of his ideas being that grotesquely perverted and his stern warnings ignored.
Despite the lies we’ve all been told about trickle-down-economics and meritocracy, most current billionaires have artificially generated and inflated their wealth (I swear, I’m not even trying to go all “Zeitgeist” on you) through stock market manipulation, gradual increased monopolization of the global markets (achieved by means of neoliberal media propaganda and active restructuring of governments worldwide to favor corporate interests), widespread worldwide privatization of all goods and even free public resources (going hand-in-hand with modernized asymmetrical settler-colonialism and genocide) and disaster capitalism (all hail Naomi Klein!), aided by manufacturing the public’s consent through various entertainment and news media.
Regarding Israel’s genocide on Palestine… well, my choice of words reveals it already. I’m incredibly disgusted by Israel’s deep-seated islamophobia and settler colonialist project, the US government’s and Germany’s enthusiastic aiding in it and I applaud the brave worldwide activism aiming to put a stop to this horror. It appalls me just how much effort Israel is expending to generate infinite and instantaneous “hasbara” in every sphere of the internet and the sadly still quite common avoidance by many to acknowledge Israel’s actions as an active genocide for fear of being labeled as an antisemite.
For anyone that’s on the fence about this conflict – I encourage you to watch a documentary on the history of how Israel was initially established and internationally recognized as a state and the British empire’s role in it, followed by the process and human cost of how the stolen land was ethnically cleansed, settled and developed (first and second Nakba). And finally, watch something on the history of the “failed” two-state solution negotiations, the Palestinian liberation fight (Marwan Barghouti, the First and Second Intifadas, The Great March of Return) in opposition of Israel’s continuous aggression, conflation of Judaism with Zionism and strongly funded Zionist propaganda and lobbyism in the US (see AIPAC, ADL, Sheldon and Miriam Adelson who are also major Trump donors), especially targeting the Jewish community (see: Birthright Israel trips).
Persephone: To that, GNC people often find their families outside of their birth families; did you have to go elsewhere for that, or is your family relatively understanding of your queerness?
Harmony: My family didn’t know the full spectrum of reasons for my being GNC, so they largely tolerated it until I was able to move out and gradually go no-contact.
Lots of my friends were appearing understanding and progressive but turned out to be quite bigoted and mired in traditional gender dogma, which left me to recoil, stop trying to connect with them on it and just…wonder whether I had been lied to or they had changed as they entered adulthood and started falling for their parents’ conservative propaganda. I had only about 2-3 friends that were not fully indoctrinated by societal roles but sadly, we eventually lost touch.
However, as a massive loner, the internet, my partner and my own mind and art have usually sufficed. At some point, I accepted that my gender identity and views will bewilder certain people but I will never stop expressing myself in the way that I prefer to. My largely traditionally perceived as femme outward appearance (long hair, manicure, makeup) seems to fool a lot of people into a false sense of security (until I open my mouth, that is) and as much as I’d like to instantly repel them instead, I’m quite happy with my looks and wouldn’t change them (for now!).
Persephone: What about sex workers? Do you have anyone you look up to in particular?
Harmony: Well, before starting in sex work, I have never met or known any sex workers personally. Just the ones I’ve read about, saw in media or consumed the content of. I’m probably going to sound like a total uninformed dork again, but the ones that come to mind as initially inspirational are Dita von Teese, Bettie Page and Mia Khalifa. Whereas currently, I actively participate in the community, help others and receive help, taking friends in the field and other creators I see around as an anchor and inspiration to stay motivated and push my creative abilities further!
Persephone: There’s often a strong theatrical component to sex work and BDSM; i.e., costumes, gender roles, aesthetics of power and death, music, makeup. How do these things intersect for you, and do they cross over into real life for you? For example, do you find yourself wearing similar clothing and expressing yourself sex-positively when you’re not on the clock?
Harmony: Oh gosh, that takes me way back! While entering university and studying, something suddenly made me turn more dramatic (a good thing!) Previously, I mostly just wore jeans, boots/trainers and band merch. That obviously still continued to take place but I started learning makeup (especially the goth and glam styles), putting more time into dressing up and talking about BDSM with my friends.
As to my current habits – in winter, I barely ever go outside, mostly just for a walk or to run errands. I prefer to be comfortable, resulting in practical clothing choices and zero makeup. In summer, early fall and late spring, I’m tempted much more to dress sexy and show myself off. Most of my sex-positive self-expression comes through what I say though! I love flirting, cracking nasty sexual jokes and innuendos, openly bringing up porn and sexual topics… only when it really is ok and appropriate for whomever I’m talking to! I’ve always been like that.
However, I just rarely ever go to social events anymore, even when it’s nicer out.
Persephone: There’s often an animal component to sexuality and gender expression, helping workers establish close bonds with each other and nature; i.e., furries, but also therians and various kinks; e.g., puppy play. How do you feel about these things, be they for work, pleasure, or both?
Harmony: I’m completely in favor of furries and pet play! Many people don’t realize it but those communities practically brought fantasy toys into existence – now highly popularized and incorporated into sensual playtime by many people (not without controversy, but that was limited to specific predators only). I engage in pet play occasionally and have tried on various roles, like that of a rabbit, puppy and wolf but ultimately, I have to say that for the most part, I’m not really into it.
Unfortunately, nasty people love to misunderstand both and class it as some sort of zoophilia, however there is absolutely no connection because fursonas are anthropomorphic and pet play mostly only adopts animalistic qualities that already exist in human expression, in addition to using the “pet” role to facilitate either gentle submission or dehumanization and degradation.
Persephone: Sex workers are generally treated as monsters to harm and exploit under capital. Do you have a preferred way of expressing the humanity of sex workers, be that simply stating it or through the work that you do, art, or some combination, etc?
Harmony: Oppositional praxis concerns our creative success versus the states. Before we can consider that push-pull, we need to outline the dialectical-material nature of creative success, and creative success itself for or against the state inside liminal territories: I prefer to do it through directly standing up for myself and other SWers online, politely and, if needed, sternly reminding and educating people about our basic human rights and legitimacy as workers. Oodles of harmful news and entertainment media portrayals of us are tough to undo, especially since our trade is famously among the oldest existing ones, yet has simultaneously been continuously marginalized and over-glorified. I also try to educate my subscribers about the difficulties, advantages and truths vs myths regarding sex work (just because there is THAT MUCH misinformation out there!) whenever that comes up in conversation and occasionally contribute to the SWer Resources & Support group with infographics, articles and advice. Eventually, I would love to create some sex-positive or pro-SWer art, however I’ve been severely lacking the time to do that so far.
Persephone: Do you have a particular aspect of liberation you like to focus on; e.g., fat liberation or decriminalizing sex work? To that, what’s the difference between positive thinking and liberation in your eyes?
Harmony: I don’t have any certain focus at this point because I treat the liberation of sex workers as a holistic project that is part of the overall struggle for social liberties and our collective emancipation from the predatory grip of capitalism. I enjoy highlighting certain aspects of the fight as they come up either in public or in my mind.
As to “positive thinking,” it is a harmful way of escapism and a terrible lie which we must avoid falling prey to, attempting to work at a better world and be hopeful instead. I would love to cite the following quote by Eric Liu to illustrate this distinction: “To be optimistic is to assume things will work out. To be hopeful is to realize things can work out if you work at them. Hope requires responsibility and agency; optimism relieves us of both. In rooting for your sports team, choose optimism. In rooting for democracy, choose hope.”
Persephone: How do you feel about BDSM and using calculated risk to confront and heal from trauma? I.e., using collars or whips to experience pain or control as pleasurable, not harmful (I love collars, for instance).
Harmony: Oh, you’ll have a laughing fit over this! To be honest, I have always been fully supportive of erotic modeling (and wary of the exploitation, abuse and discrimination in that field), stripping, porn production (of course, with exceptions for illegal material, revenge porn, toxic porn categories like “barely legal” and the abusive treatment of actors by the industry, not to mention the very widespread bigotry) and decriminalizing FSSW. However, I temporarily fell for some SWERF-y talking points regarding online SW, based on my own misconceptions and insecurities – I was barely even familiar with OF at that point (2021), mostly hearing about it on YouTube, and this actually prompted me to properly look into that field in the first place and learn more about it, which of course resulted in those toxic SWERF myths being debunked in no time. From there on, my amazement and interest in porn and sex work just kept growing!
Persephone: Does expressing yourself in a dehumanized BDSM position (e.g., CNC or living latex, etc) or state of existence speak to your humanity as something to value?
Harmony: Most definitely. Not everyone will enjoy all the different flavors of BDSM but they are valid for the people that enjoy engaging in them. With extreme expressions of dehumanization/degradation/humiliation in kink comes great responsibility for all participants to guarantee safety, consent throughout and stellar aftercare. Simultaneously, through the extremes we can deconstruct our existence, confront the darkest corners of our mind and experience the ultimate surrender or attainment of power.
Persephone: What got you interested in BDSM? Do you have a preference in terms of what you give or receive?
Harmony: I remember having had sexual dreams of submission and domination, imagining scenes from my favorite anime and books, writing and reading fan-fiction (yep, I know, cringe). In my formative years, BDSM has definitely already entered the mainstream, being mentioned in many songs, movies, books and news articles, taking centerstage in the world of fashion and advertising by appropriating kink wear and harmfully intertwining it with the simultaneous appropriation of the goth/industrial subculture (they do have some natural overlap but this was different).
I have heard plenty of direct and tongue-in-cheek references to it in music (Depeche Mode, Soft Cell and other 80s synth pop, metal, rock, industrial…), read some of Anne Rice’s books, excerpts of “Venus in Furs”, Marquis de Sade’s work and the revolting fanfic rag “50 Shades of Grey” has by then besmirched paper and was somehow adapted for the screen in an even worse way… anyhow, amidst all of that, living in a city with a prominent queer and kinky scene, I started learning more about BDSM online, a lot of it via resources shared on Tumblr – memes, (great) infographics, primers, links… and naturally, the healthy and the toxic BDSM porn blogs.
Lastly, again through cultural references, I have encountered and immediately taken to Bettie Page and Dita von Teese’s art and style! I even had Dita’s Burlesque/Fetish and the Art of the Teese coffee table book… wish I still had it!
In terms of what I prefer to give or receive, I have always found bondage, sensation play, worship and impact play most fascinating!
Persephone: In your mind, is BDSM inherently sexual? If so or if not, can you explain why?
Harmony: It’s tough to define that if we start dissecting the definition of “sexual”. BDSM is clearly very closely connected to sexual/erotic experience but I think that shibari workshops, tantric massage (especially using candles), role play scenes that don’t involve sex or erotic arousal… also show us that elements of it can be more sensual, psychological or intimate rather than only inherently serving sexual pleasure. I think it is true due to how similar the different types of an aroused state can be: for example spiritual glee or anxiety-inducing flashbacks of trauma, healed (which deeply informs our sexual preferences), deep interpersonal intimacy, psychedelic drugs, also the experience of consuming amazing art or creating work that manages to achieve a high amount of innate truth and grace. All of these let us tap into and revel in the (non-religious, to me) divinity of the collective unconscious, an indescribable inner peace.
If I may deviate to organized religion, aka opium of the masses, and its manipulative exploits for a second, they stole, held hostage and appropriated knowledge, sexuality, the arts in a myriad of ways – and why do you think that is? I sure wonder! Not too different from how fascists also exploit the spiritual power of these aforementioned things to bend people to their will.
Persephone: Does BDSM inform the sex work that you do in an educational or therapeutic way?
Harmony: My goal is to try and become more informative eventually in a direct and public-facing way, providing resources, but I have always valued and employed the proper and healthy practice of BDSM in my work, trying to educate my clients on safety, consent and kink generally, where needed, alongside being empathetic, listening to their concerns and worries to a healthy degree and lastly, talking my new “patients” through their preferences, boundaries and etiquette, getting to know their kink persona and introducing them to mine!
It’s very easy to skip or gloss over healthy BDSM practice principles but I try to get everyone to adhere and understand their importance, avoiding clients that exude an exploitative, toxic or abusive air.
Persephone: In terms of calculated risk, how does it feel to surrender some degree of power in a scenario where you can’t actually be harmed? Or vice versa, if you have more power? Do you have a preference and if so, why?
Harmony: To start with your last question: I’m a switch and keep being affirmed in that preference more and more as I explore different kinky scenarios. A large variety of ideas and desires swarms my mind and I would never want to limit myself to just one role or dynamic. If anything, some of my favorite role play videos to shoot have been role reversal, corruption/mind control/manipulation or forced submission scenes. Knowing both sides of kink power dynamics and their crossover points well has definitely helped me become a better domme and submissive in turn.
Now, to get to the original question. When the contractual framework of consent and boundaries of all participating parties is settled, comfort and safety ensured – the feeling of both wielding and surrendering power is overwhelmingly potent and spiritual, not too different from meditation among other similar phenomena (yes, hate to say it but despite having been hijacked by wellness lunatics and grifters, there is some legitimacy to the practice).
Persephone: If you feel comfortable answering, can theatrical disempowerment feel healing or therapeutic to you in regards to real trauma?
Harmony: Absolutely! I must admit that I’ve never been to therapy and only have knowledge about my trauma as far as I’ve deduced it myself, however I think that going into subspace has helped me have deeply spiritual, cathartic experiences and realizations, resulting in breaking some deep-seated compulsions regarding controlling my environment and behavior, asserting myself to others and addressing my very stubborn nature. Those were formed as a coping mechanism for me to deal with being subjected to highly controlling, violent parents with wild mood swings.
Of course, I have extensively read about methods of entering and wielding subspace, trying them out in a safe setting with my partner.
Persephone: What’s the most stressful thing about sex work? The most liberating?
Harmony: Quite paradoxical actually – it’s the flexibility of full-time online SW that makes it stressful but also liberating. I pushed extremely long workdays, made my body ache, missed sleep and meals… but I can drop in and out of work whenever I want, set a schedule if I’d like to, take time off – basically be my own boss!
Other stressful factors include the instability of income (“feast or famine” nature of this work), the need to churn out fresh, daily, “viral” content at a high production level and with sufficient variety, the constant risk of being attacked, censored, doxxed/leaked by an aggravated fan or banned by our platforms, payment processors and political enemies, difficulties acquiring housing or loans due to the taboo nature of this work, terrible/pushy/ manipulative clients…
Okay! Before I scare off all the potential new sex workers reading this, let’s name some ways in which this work is liberating: possibility of true meritocracy (however, there is definitely still inequality) – the sky is the limit in terms of how much you can earn and hard, smart work is rewarded; there is no boss commandeering you around and no annoying coworkers; despite restrictions across platforms you can freely express yourself and find a place to post and monetize almost any content you want (that is legal); sex work inevitably makes you wear a lot of hats and thus teaches you lots of skills by doing it: audio and video production, photography, marketing, writing/expression, creativity, editing, legal literacy, soft skills, management and other aspects of business admin, the list goes on!
Persephone: What are the benefits to doing sex work in today’s day an age versus in the past? What do you think needs to improve; e.g., open reactionary bigots versus moderate SWERFs posturing as feminists speaking for all groups?
Harmony: Oof, that’s where I have a knowledge gap. I don’t know nearly enough about how sex work was practiced in the past. From my layman viewpoint, it DEFINITELY seems much easier nowadays, if we’re speaking of the Western world. Decriminalization of FSSW has been achieved in a lot of countries, most providers now working independently (ditching pimps and exploitative brothels), networking to protect themselves from law enforcement, scams and hostile clientele. Platforms like Onlyfans and Chaturbate have entered the mainstream discourse and keep rising in popularity, set to dethrone toxic and exploitative porn behemoths PornHub or XHamster (sprouting from stolen work and STILL scamming and exploiting actors!) – clearly a net positive!
Pole dancing has also been accepted into the mainstream as an art and sport (to a controversial effect, based on some professional dancers’ opinions). Not knowing the exact statistics, there is still an overwhelming amount of hostility and violence towards FSSW, especially providers of color and queer providers. In some cases, even online sex workers, while generally considered much safer, are subjected to stalking, doxxing and in extreme cases even murder.
Many areas still need improvement and we should take a holistic approach to tackling these issues… first of all, we have to continue promoting the validity of sexual liberty and the demarginalization of sex work (humanizing sex workers in popular media, breaking toxic stereotypes, reducing stigma). We also need to fight racism, ableism, discrimination against LGBTQ workers and harmful legislation like SESTA/FOSTA and the Nordic Model (championed and conceptualized by SWERFs), continue the international unionization effort while establishing, safeguarding and improving our workspaces, including autonomy from corporate (now, mostly fascist-controlled) social media and the existing oligopoly of fan-sites and clip sites, alongside improving TRUE inclusivity. Moreover, we have to devise better ways of protecting ourselves and our output against scammers, AI, theft and exploitation.
Persephone: What are your favorite monsters (i.e., undead, demons, and or anthromorphs) and why?
Harmony: Mythical creatures have always been my favorite kind of monsters! My knowledge of myth definitely needs a whole lot of brushing up on but as a kid, I was voraciously reading any sort of mythology – Greek, Roman, Slavic, Norse, Japanese, Egyptian, Mesopotamian, Hindu… out of this interest grew a strong passion for magical realism, the Gothic and (dark) romanticism, which revisited folklore and fairytales, then introduced its own contemporary monsters.
If I had to pick any favorites, I’m going to make a choice that’s a tad weird but close to my heart: I love Zaches from ETA Hoffmann’s Little Zaches called Cinnabar. The damn novel was published in 1819 but it literally describes Trump… or any grifter/quack and the minutiae of their rise and downfall.
Persephone: Media-wise, do you like to read, watch movies, and or play videogames just for fun, but also to gather ideas about gender-non-conformity expression, BDSM and other sex-positive devices?
Harmony: Oh, absolutely! I’m trying to make more time for that again but hell yeah, as a socially awkward, nerdy outsider, most of what I know now came from all sorts of media I’ve been devouring over the course of my lifetime! Movies, fiction, non-fiction, games, music, visual art – I love it all and it’s always exciting to delve into a great author’s lore, mindset and historical context.
However, media analysis has always been very important to me and I try to see every piece of media I consume critically …which makes hate-watching/ listening/reading all the more fun because you really start decoding the bullshit faster and faster the more you pay attention to what’s in between the lines.
Persephone: What are your thoughts on sex/porn and art, business and pleasure? I like to mix them to form healthier boundaries established between workers; how do you feel about this?
Harmony: I concur! I certainly wouldn’t do that with everyone, there needs to be a basis of trust and common goals/interests since as sex workers, we face many dangers coming from fans, collaborators or “colleagues” (human nature, eh?) but I wouldn’t just forbid that sort of fluidity.
Persephone: Per my arguments, Capitalism sexualizes and fetishizes all workers to serve profit, leading to genocide. Keeping that in mind, what is the best way to achieve intersectional solidarity using Gothic poetics?
Harmony: I see the best way of achieving solidarity run through a multi-pronged approach of uniting the arts, media and activism. Art has always been hugely influential in any social struggle and knowing that, nowadays, corporate forces have taken their own multi-pronged action to deny people free artistic expression by means of censorship, gatekeeping access to funding (thus severely limiting many poor and middle-class voices and letting the bourgeois, pro-corporate ones monopolize the arena) while forcing us into the rat race to subsist, robbing us of the most important resources – health, time and energy, and disseminating exclusionary, brazen anti-art propaganda, redefining the significance of expression, settling it deeply within the common mentality to attempt to render art meaningless and impotent.
I’m sure you know all their talking points – “artists are all broke losers”, “art is useless and frivolous”, “only conspiracy theorists care about symbolism”, “you are either born with talent or not”, “art is all about weirdness”…and finally, my biggest pet peeve and point of contention with other leftists – “art is only subjective”. The two latter ones are very widespread and serve to disincentivize people from analyzing art/any media (within the context of intentionally failing to teach us critical thinking).
All of above serves to maintain the Potemkin villages of capitalist “spectacle” that cloak the true revolting physiognomy of late-stage capitalism (just as allegorically represented by Jasmine, the “big bad” in Season 4 of the tv show Angel) whereas artists with integrity are the “Scooby Doo Gang”, unmasking to the public the actual villains, aka the architects of the neoliberal “Master Plan”.
Anyhow, as a humanity, we are overdue to reclaim artistic expression in its true original meaning and break out of the holding pattern of this static cultural warfare.
Persephone: Can you describe your own struggles with achieving liberation/humanization as a GNC sex worker?
Harmony: I have to be honest and say that although I see myself as GNC/ specifically agender, I don’t express it much in my erotic work as I tend to mostly present femme. This is not a byproduct of desperately wanting to appeal to the cis-het-male audience but a desire to find the femme in myself because I’ve been dressing mostly butch my entire life. There were many reasons for it: resisting gender stereotypes, my own exploration of gender through clothing, thinking that common femme fashion doesn’t suit me (bad tailoring being a factor)…
That said, I am not censoring myself when I have a GNC content idea and have some of that work displayed on my Fansly page. I have made a specific decision early on, not to promote and have a presence in toxic, bigoted spaces, so no one’s ever complained about my artistic direction!
Persephone: I view sex work as an important means of de facto (extracurricular) education; i.e., entertainment, but also a means of humanizing people within the practice at large. How do you feel about this? Can we learn from art and porn as a means of humanizing marginalized groups?
Harmony: To this – a resounding YES! Wondering why Project 2025 looks to outlaw porn/sex work? That’s because, as flawed as the adult industry still is within our capitalist model, online sex work, erotic entertainment/art and the increasing autonomy of FSSW clearly contributes to the widespread humanization of marginalized people and challenges the public’s prejudiced view of sex work! And on top of that, we come closer to the demystification of nude bodies and their diversity, getting comfortable with our sexuality AND bringing about a huge overhaul of the archaic structures of the porn industry. For decades, cis-het-male-controlled media had tried dictating to us what “acceptable” bodies and sexual orientations are… but the statistics are in and the oppressors’ obsolete views got completely MAULED by the truth once again!
Obviously, there is still plenty of work to be done on each of those fronts but we have definitely made the prudes and elites shake in their seats – that’s massive and we need to keep striking the iron while it’s hot!
Persephone: I value establishing mutual trust, healthy communication and boundary formation/negotiation and respect, seeing them to be the most vital qualities in any relationship. Do you agree, and if so, why?
Harmony: I agree completely! And I really like that you expand it to any relationship – in my experience, many people tend to see friendships as much less significant compared to other relations, thus requiring much less emotional labor. As a collective humanity, we need to instill and educate everyone about these values. Currently, we just throw young people into cold water and let corporate ideology take the wheel instead. Learning healthy communication and setting boundaries, along with listening to our intuition, helps individuals know themselves better, become assertive and get comfortable with the inevitability of uncertainty in life. Honestly… so many unnecessary conflicts would be rooted out if these simple qualities were at the heart of most people.
Of course, not to forget, trauma and other various mental health complications come into play and people should get fair access to addressing those with a professional or dealing with them independently as they can stand in the way of striving towards the aforementioned qualities.
Persephone: How do you orient and what are your thoughts on polyamory insofar as it affects your work? For the layperson/uninitiated, how would you describe the difference between a fuck buddy/FWB and other more casual relationships versus serious ones? Can people be friends and still have sex in a casual manner? What is the most valuable aspect of a friendship regardless if sex is a part of the equation or not?
Harmony: My partner and I are in an open relationship or, to cite a fitting term I saw, “monogamish”. I am also mostly a solo porn creator that is not interested in collaborations at this time, so polyamory doesn’t really factor into my work unless I’m working with poly clients.
It gets difficult to describe the difference between casual, FWB and “serious” relations because I am strongly against the rigid compartmentalization of social structures (for example through nuclear households) and in favor of seeing them and the idea of love as fluid. Of course, this stance also poses dangers (just like any liberty) and requires vigilant discretion and self-awareness – for example, people come to mind that manipulate/force their partners into polyamorous relations or, as often thematized in movies, people can commit usery by disingenuously stringing their casual partners (mainly those interested in monogamy) along, instrumentalizing the notion of “let’s stay open-minded and see where this goes.”
I would ultimately say that character compatibility is the key factor that distinguishes casual relations from “serious”, or exclusive ones. Exclusivity is mostly expressed in the strength of commitment, e.g. marriage and other legal obligations, cohabitation, prioritization of your partner. Say, I would probably have sex with someone that I’m not compatible with but wouldn’t want to cohabitate or enter any legal obligations with them. That said, living by rigid lines separating these different categories is ignoring human nature at best and creating perfect conditions for abuse at worst – just think of how stupid and reductive Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs sounds to us nowadays.
If your friends need you – help them! Make an effort to see them and don’t bottle yourself up in the indulgence of a new romance just because society/ your parents tell(s) you it’s higher in the hierarchy.
Whether people can have casual sex but stay friends is dependent on the individuals in question and their emotional makeup. It may be easier for someone who is already in a loving relationship and may not suffer getting emotionally attached to the point of wanting a more serious involvement and risking it being unrequited. It’s important to be honest with yourself and to recognize how the intimacy of sex may affect your attitude towards your friend, then make decisions based on that. Additionally, people mistakenly see sex as an immediate indication of a “serious, romantic” relation, which is, pardon my French, horseshit… requiring exclusivity or monogamy to allow sex is a largely antiquated social norm that needs to be broken and redefined as an individual preference.
As to the most valuable aspects of a friendship… to me, it’s the solidarity, trust/dependability, sharing in our human toil but also in creativity 🙂
Persephone: If you have a partner, do they know about the work that you do? How comfortable are they with it?
Harmony: Yes, my partner not only knows about me doing sex work, he’s the one that suggested it to me! I’ve always struggled to see myself as attractive or unique looking enough to be photographed, much less to get an entire audience intrigued! This is an insecurity that he fully helped me overcome through fun photoshoots (be it dressed and made up or au naturel) and recording us messing around together. He occasionally appears in my work but prefers to stay behind the scenes for the most part.
Persephone: How did you and your partner meet? What do you think makes an ideal partner?
Harmony: We’d met online via Tastebuds, a forum and dating site that helps people match based on music tastes – yes, we’re both huge music nerds 🙂 Of course, the notion of the “ideal partner” depends on an individual’s personal values. To me, brutal honesty, strong principles, intellectual curiosity paired with an open mind, great communication skills and inherent kindness are the key qualities. Of course, having shared interests and goals is the cherry on top!
I would like to offer up this great quote by Nietzsche that applies universally and has proven to be very true in my own relationship: “When marrying you should ask yourself this question: do you believe you are going to enjoy talking with this [woman] into your old age? Everything else in a marriage is transitory, but most of the time that you’re together will be devoted to conversation.”
Persephone: What advice would you give incels, nice guys and other cis-het men (or token groups; e.g., TERFs and cis-queer tokens, etc) displaying bigoted attitudes towards women and other marginalized groups?
Harmony: This one’s gonna be a tough one! I have a personal interest in studying what motivates these terrible attitudes and oftentimes, it’s difficult to find anything but swear words for them because quite clearly, they have fallen to hatred and bigotry in order to project their insecurities and fear of uncertainty, especially regarding their own identity and economic security… but I would like to make a final appeal.
Think about your definition of “normal” and how you came to form that opinion. What influenced it and what makes it valid to you? Try to recall times when you were unnecessarily judged, pigeonholed or put in a box by someone – it’s infuriating, isn’t it? Don’t condemn an entire group by anecdotal evidence and don’t presume things about others. Learn to communicate directly and figure people out on a case-by-case basis. Don’t rummage in strangers’ lives, work on yours first! As Tim Walz very correctly said: “Mind your own damn business!”
Regarding incels and “nice guys”, neoliberal/hypercapitalist and fascist cultural dogma, predominantly in Western countries like the US, contributes to their radicalization against women and minority groups. The Christofascism (or technofeudalism) of JD Vance, Peter Thiel and such clearly states their plans to orchestrate a gender, race and class divide, along with the return to archaic norms as informed by misled Christianity, ultimately benefitting the corporate elite. Incels will have to realize that they need to detach themselves from this hypercorporate ideology that only serves the 1% and understand that it takes building your own character (NOT follow archetypes prescribed by corporate overlords!) and seeing others as human to achieve real happiness.
Persephone: Likewise, what advice would you give to more privileged groups that need to understand the value of listening to those more oppressed than them in a larger struggle for liberation?
Harmony: I don’t trust the Trump faction to understand this, so I’ll be mainly addressing the privileged centrists, independents and liberals. This might sound painfully obvious but it absolutely needs to be reiterated… everyone knows the value of knowledge, right? Now, we need to teach the importance of solidarity. And not the kind that is flashed for social clout but the real deal. The left-leaning sphere is clearly very prone to splintering and this has been gradually worsened by the pandemic and various neoliberal attempts to control societal dynamics worldwide.
Fascist influences, groupthink and nihilism have brought us to where we are now with the rollback of social liberties (especially for the marginalized groups), climate catastrophe, global recession and cultural/ spiritual bankruptcy. My warning to the upper class and socially privileged people is that they are personally going to feel more and more of this societal decay, it’s just a matter of time. It feels crazy to have to repeat this over and over and fall on deaf ears but ensuring stability and safety for EVERYONE is key to all-round state welfare. Practice some real compassion and curiosity: read, directly listen to and believe the concerns of the oppressed, for fuck’s sake!
Little, yet significant side note: it’s important to draw the distinction between actual oppressed peoples and the ones masquerading as such, their methodology prescribed by corporate puppet masters. It has the dual purpose of not only harnessing and redirecting the existing outrage but even when it doesn’t function as such, bringing about the added, desired effect of creating disillusionment and callousness towards the idea of helping people in general.
Persephone: What are your thoughts on GNC people who are still in the closet but thinking about coming out? Where should they go and who should they talk to?
Harmony: In this administration… I wish I had a good answer. I have more or less always been a shut-in and currently only ever dwell in the online sphere. I have explored gender in solitude as it’s always been something very intimate to me. The importance of in-person connections and relating cannot be stressed enough but if seeking out other GNC people irl isn’t possible for a person, I definitely encourage online connections and resources, as they’ve massively helped me in my orientation. Of course, discretion and attention to your gut feeling when opening up is very important. Coming out is a very impactful, circumstance-based decision, so I’d like to recommend to go with your heart – if you want to come out to everyone, do it! Even if there will be negative consequences, you will be glad that you stayed true to yourself. If you’d rather wait or not come out to certain people at all – don’t!
Persephone: Similarly, for those thinking about doing sex work for the first time, where is a good place to start with that; i.e., what advice would you give to those starting out based on your own experiences?
Harmony: I can only speak to online sex work but here are some basic ideas. I recommend starting to build your social media as early as possible! It takes a while to grow your online presence and an existing audience will definitely give you a leg up when you’ll eventually launch your fan page, if that is the route you’d like to take. Nothing wrong with direct sales through socials but they do make you more vulnerable and are definitely more confusing and dangerous for a newcomer.
Try to acquire good lighting if you don’t have access to a bright, natural light source and practice your photography and videography skills! Read all the informative resources about the industry that are available on the internet! They will help you figure out what kind of content you would like to do and what your boundaries are, ideas on services you might offer, how you’d price them…
Personally, I recommend combing through and posting in the various creator communities on Reddit (my favorite ones are r/creatorsadvice and r/Fansly_Advice) and also connecting with SWer Resources & Support, present on Bsky and their own website: https://swresourcesandsupport.com Lastly, feel free to reach out to me anywhere for help, I will gladly assist and guide you but please, I beg you… don’t make me dog-walk you through every basic thing.
Persephone: What’s your idea of the perfect date? The ideal fuck? Do you have an ideal experience of either you’d like to share?
Harmony: Oof… honestly, there are so many ways to have a perfect date and an ideal fuck! I’m a simple gal – bottom line for me is absolute comfort for both of us, no pressure and a stellar, stimulating conversation! I do enjoy a good long walk, a homemade meal cooked together, watching something great and analyzing it afterwards, attending a show, getting creative (crafting, drawing, etc), cycling trips… As for the perfect fuck – make it steamy as hell, spontaneous, chaotic, maybe a little risky but simultaneously very loving, caring and passionate!
Persephone: What’s your wildest/most enjoyable sexual encounter (e.g., sex in public, in the kitchen while the roomies are home, etc)?
Harmony: The wildest things me and my partner have done are mostly definitely group fun …and having to fuck with family or roommates present at home. Having to whisper and keep as quiet as possible can be really fun!
Persephone: For you, what’s the cutest thing a partner can do, in bed or out? For example, my partner Bay loves it when new partners come really fast/are having their first time PIV with Bay. Consent, intimacy and affection are all really sexy and fun for Bay. How about you?
Harmony: I gotta agree with Bay on that one – it’s incredibly adorable! I also love watching cute squirming… just any little things a partner does that are unique to them and their expression of pleasure 🙂 Also… watching their eyes light up as they tell me something they are passionate about! Makes me think: “Hell yes! Go off and soapbox me! I can’t wait to learn more!” Passion, excitement and care are SO HOT!
Persephone: What are your thoughts on consensual voyeurism and exhibitionism as educational/entertaining acts? Does being able to be more open and communicative help us learn from each other to see each other as human and also what to watch out for/what to challenge at a systemic level?
Harmony: I’m definitely in favor of ethically demystifying sex and nudity among consenting adults and I am a big fan of entertainment that isn’t shy to thematize or include sexuality! Be it in a symbolic way or not. I think that due to the Christofascists’ beliefs and attempts at rigorous censorship, more of erotic art and nude activism would aid in our collective fight for liberation.
It would help combat the deep-seated shame around sex and our bodies, letting us develop an overall healthier view of sexual relations and a greater common understanding of (enthusiastic) consent, provided that the displayed sex or kinky activity is ethically sound. Many pieces of media (looking at you, 50 Shades..!) neglect to do it and cause irrevocable harm. Let’s try our best to screen our work for any vagueness and prevent the promotion of abuse, most often it happens in an unintended way!
Persephone: Does fucking to music, roleplay and other theatrical elements make sex better?
Harmony: Oh yeah, for me – most definitely! I’m a big proponent of anarchy and diversity in sex, so a multi-hour deep RP session sounds just as good to me as a sensual tantric exploration or a fiery quickie! Not to mention sex that includes a bunch of nerdy banter, jokes and interruptions! As for music – it holds a very special place in my heart and I have not only had sex but also masturbated to certain tracks or albums. For the curious cats: that included stuff like Gojira’s old albums, industrial music and prog rock 😉
Persephone: Connections between sex workers and clients are often discrete under capital. Can a degree of friendship and intimacy make for a better relationship between the two?
Harmony: In theory – hell yes! In praxis… not so much. Or, best managed ethically and on a case-by-case basis to maintain a healthy standard. I would say that I have definitely developed true, meaningful friendships with some clients of mine. I tend to be an open book and quite uncensored, preferring not to fake a personality, painstakingly watch the clock or monetize every word which probably puts me among the more permissive providers. However, I do not tolerate time wasters, pushy assholes and scammers …and have to watch out to make a living after all, it’s my full-time job and we all know the current state of the world economy! As a sex worker, it is important to learn to listen to your gut and be assertive when needed. We have to remember that many clients have no reservations in blatantly lying, plotting or financially manipulating us. Once I develop enough trust in a client and can ensure they are fully aware of the parasocial implications of our connection, I’m happy to call them a friend!
Persephone: For people struggling with gender expectations like being the right size or pleasing one’s partner and enjoying oneself, is there anything you might recommend?
Harmony: There isn’t really much to do aside from making a deliberate decision to prioritize your own happiness. I see it as a life’s work that we have to keep gnawing at, sometimes with enormous setbacks …or huge positive outcomes! Surrounding yourself with mature, morally attuned, principled people that wouldn’t be jealous or judgmental is key. Learn healthy, direct communication to the best of your ability and practice it with everyone! As for nonsensical gatekeeping expectations of being “a certain size or look to fit into a category in the view of a society/group” – fuck that noise and pursue your true identity on your own terms!
Persephone: How does it feel being your true self, despite the risks of Satanic/gay panic and similar moral panics in America and around the world?
Harmony: It feels truly odd and isolating because as a child/teenager, I was assured that we are going in a good direction in terms of social liberation and antifascist action. Having received my education in the country that defeated the nazis in WW2 and the country whose biggest concern has always been preventing fascism from gaining traction again… I had been radicalized through various trips to historical landmarks of antifascist activism. I feel bad for having been in the fog of delusion, lots of my former friends choosing to eventually align themselves with neoliberalism despite us having bonded through leftist art. I made a vow to myself to speak the truth, live my real identity unapologetically, not make excuses for my beliefs and protect my leftist/queer comrades at any cost. We shouldn’t let history repeat itself by getting too comfortable and slipping into becoming lackeys and enablers of neo-Nazis, which would allow fascism to snowball through groupthink.
Persephone: Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions, and also for working on Sex Positivity with me. If people want to follow you, where can they follow you and support what you do?
Harmony: It’s been a great pleasure and a privilege to work together and develop a friendship with you, Perse! If I seem interesting to your readership, they can find me on Fansly, Mastodon and Bsky, I use the same handle everywhere!
About the Author (reprise)
Persephone van der Waard is the author of the multi-volume, non-profit book series, Sex Positivity—its art director, sole invigilator, illustrator and primary editor (the other co-writer/co-editor being Bay Ryan). Persephone has her independent PhD in Gothic poetics and ludo-Gothic BDSM (focusing on partially on Metroidvania), and is a MtF trans woman, anti-fascist, atheist/Satanist, poly/pan kinkster, erotic artist/pornographer and anarcho-Communist with two partners. Including multiple playmates/friends and collaborators, Persephone and her many muses work/play together on Sex Positivity and on her artwork at large as a sex-positive force. That being said, she still occasionally writes reviews, Gothic analyses, and interviews for fun on her old blog (and makes YouTube videos talking about politics). Any money Persephone earns through commissions or donations goes towards helping sex workers through the Sex Positivity project; i.e., by paying costs and funding shoots, therefore raising awareness. She takes payment on PayPal, Patreon, and CashApp, etc; all links are available on her Linktr.ee. Every bit helps!
