Book Sample: “Searching for Secrets” Module Contents and Disclaimer

Posted on by Persephone van der Waard

“Searching for Secrets*” is a blog-style book promotion, originally inspired by the one I did with Harmony Corrupted: “Brace for Impact” (2024). That promotion was meant to promote and provide Volume Two, part one’s individual pieces for easy public viewing (it has since become a full, published book module: the Poetry Module). “Searching for Secrets” shall do the same, but with Volume Two, part two’s opening/thesis section and one of its two Monster Modules, the Undead (the other module, Demons, also having a promotion: “Deal with the Devil“). As usual, this promotion was written, illustrated and invigilated by me as part of my larger Sex Positivity (2023) book series. This specific promo post includes the Undead Module’s table of contents (and hyperlinks to each post), followed by the book disclaimer.

*Inspired by one of my favorite Castlevania songs from Portrait of Ruin (2006). You gotta dance and play in the ruins to camp the counterfeit with its ghost, lovelies!

Volume Two, part two (the Undead Module) is out now (9/6/2024)! I wrote an epilogue for the module along with its debut announcement. Give that a look; then, go to my book’s 1-page promo to download the latest version of the PDF (which will contain additions/corrections the original blog posts will not have)!

Permissions: Any publicly available images are exhibited for purposes of education, transformation and critique, thus fall under Fair Use; private nude material and collabs with models are specifically shared with permission from the original model(s). For more details about artist permissions, refer to the book disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Concerning Buggy Images: Sometimes the images on my site don’t always load and you get a little white-and-green placeholder symbol, instead. Sometimes I use a plugin for loading multiple images in one spot, called Envira Gallery, and not all of the images will load (resulting in blank white squares you can still right-click on). I‘ve optimized most of the images on my site, so I think it’s a server issue? Not sure. You should still be able to access the unloaded image by clicking on the placeholder/right-clicking on the white square (sometimes you have to delete the “?ssl=1” bit at the end of the url). Barring that, completed volumes will always contain all of the images, whose PDFs you can always download on my 1-page promo.

(artist: Harmony Corrupted)

Contents (for Volume Two, part two) 

Volume Two, part two divides into two Monster Modules, which will release as separate sub-volumes (due to length issues). Both halves contain the opening thesis statement, “A Cruel Angel’s Thesis” (which discusses the overlap between trauma/feeding and transformation/power and knowledge exchange); the first half, “Searching for Secrets,” holds the Undead Module, whereas the second half, “Deal with the Devil,” contains the Demon Module and volume conclusion.

All in all, these individual posts are the primary sections/chapters of each module for Volume Two, part two. Modules are sections that concern multiple chapters, subchapters, and so on. While the Poetry Module focused on Gothic poetics as a historical-material process whose history we contribute towards, the Monster Modules shall focus on the history of Gothic poetics as something to learn from when poetically articulating our own pedagogy of the oppressed.

Playing with Dead Things (opening and thesis chapter)

Summary

The opening to Volume Two, part two, as well as the thesis chapter for the Monster Modules. Each module will have its own promo series, and each promo series will only contain its respective module/sub-volume.

Update, 8/7/2024: Originally “Playing with Dead Things” contained two additional chapters: “In Search of the Secret Spell” and “Back to the Necropolis.” However, to keep Volume Two, part two from getting too big, I’ve decided to transplant those into Volume Two, part one (as of v1.2 onwards, which you can access on my book’s 1-page promo). I’ve updated this content page and the content page for “Brace for Impact” to reflect those changes. —Perse

Posts

The Undead: Zombies, Vampires and Ghosts (module)

Cover model: Harmony Corrupted

Summary

This module explores the poetic history of the undead; i.e., as creatures driven less by active intelligence and more by a desire to freeze and feed in the buried presence of trauma and harmful conditions. It explores how the state’s monopolies lead to a state of exception within its sites of settler-colonial violence, which in turn create a violent upheaval/silent scream among the oppressed and oppressors alike; i.e., the voice of colonial trauma and the vengeful, desperate feeding on the living by the undead as the genocided dead, having come home to roost—zombies. However, the alienation and feeding also affect the ruler class, leading to vampirism as a canonical effect that must be personified in healthier forms of medieval nostalgia that, for their using logical motions, become ghost-like, copied and imperfect. Reclaiming these modules requires embodying and subverting the very traumas the state relies on to control us by keeping us hungry and braindead (a process I call “lobotomization”)—to, as the undead generally do, paralyze our prey and feed on their frozen bodies, albeit in ways that pointedly develop Gothic Communism.

Module Posts

  • 2. “The Undead: Zombies, Vampires and Ghosts” (module opening): Signposts the Undead Module and quickly preps you for its two primary concepts: receiving/giving trauma and feeding. Opening Length: ~10 pages.
    • 2a. “Bad Dreams; or, Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse” (chapter opening—included with the above post): Explores the giving and receiving of state trauma through undead bodies; i.e., various aspects of military urbanism/state decay at home and settler colonialism abroad, as well as how to reclaim these devices and use them to freeze our enemies in place inside the state of exception (re: Athena’s Aegis). Length: ~29 pages.
      • 2a0. ” part zero: “‘Fatal Homecomings’; or, Return of the Living Dead (and Vigilantism)“: Goes over some important points regarding the history and function of a zombie apocalypse, but especially the role of pro-state vigilantism as something to introduce to children at a young age. Length: ~23 pages.
      • 2a1. ” part one: “Police States, Foreign Atrocities and the Imperial Boomerang“: Concerns the domestic side of Imperialism; i.e., when the horrors of a zombie apocalypse return to the source: empire. Opening Length: ~5 pages.
        • 2a1a. The Imperial Boomerang, part one: Survival (feat. Night of the Living Dead, Left 4 Dead, and The Last of Us—included with the above post)”: Considers the dialectic of privilege waged against the alien dead when the chickens come home to roost. Defines the zombie, Imperial Boomerang and state of exception, then considers the ways in which zombies are policed through sex and force, mid-apocalypse; i.e., something abject to attack and divide, blowing apart/away with guns and otherwise dismembered as a form of pro-state discourse. Length: ~45 pages.
        • 2a1b. “part two: Cryptomimesis (feat. The Last of Us, Scooby Do, and more)“: Explores various stories that repeat on echo (through cryptomimesis) to normally divide workers too scared faced the consequence of state operations (zombies); i.e., how such things can be reclaimed from state monopolies, while nevertheless weighing on our minds (awake or not). Length: ~25 pages.
        • 2a1c. “part three: Rememory, or the Roots of Trauma” (subdivision opening): Examines the ways zombie apocalypse stories can be interrogated; i.e., as haunting our literal dreams, and where death/tokenization under capital can be reassembled and confronted after we wake up—as a polity/being to humanize and question per Toni Morrison’s process of rememory (through my personal experiences with the idea and writing this book). Opening Length: ~10 pages.
          • 2a1c1. “The Roots of Trauma, part one: Assembling Trauma and Questions of Betrayal in Beloved, Frankenstein, The Last of the Mohicans, and The Terror: Infamy (feat., Toni Morrison and Howard Zinn)” (included with the subdivision opening): Confronts zombie-esque assemblages of trauma and tokenization not just in Beloved, but it and its author in connection to such things in Frankenstein, The Last of the Mohicans (and a few other examples, to be holistic; e.g., The Terror: Infamy [2019] and Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States, etc). Length: ~30 pages.
          • 2a1c2. “The Roots of Trauma, part two: Healing through ‘Rape,’ or the Origins of Ludo-Gothic BDSM as a Matter of Rememory (feat. Harmony Corrupted and Cuwu)“: Examines rememory as a matter of performance per ludo-Gothic BDSM; i.e., rape play as something that, while it dates back centuries (e.g., the French convulsionnaires), actually accomplishes among the living through interpersonal experience; e.g., Harmony and I, who will give you an instance of consent-non-consent invoking the dead of the half-real, partially imaginary past, albeit as a matter of good praxis informed by even older experiences: DBT as imparted to me by Cuwu for much the same reasons (re: “Healing from Rape,” from Volume One). Length: ~49 pages.
      • 2a2. ” part two: “Transforming Our Zombie Selves (and Our War-like, Rapacious Toys) by Reflecting on the Wider World through the Rememory of Personal Trauma” (subdivision opening): Examines the broader relationship of rememory through personal trauma as an expression of the material world becoming “undead” in zombie-like ways (also considers the formulation of my academic idea, ludo-Gothic BDSM, in response to this lived trauma as something to reflect on: per my abuser, Jadis). Opening Length: ~6 pages.
        • 2a2a. “Back to Jadis’ Dollhouse” (including with the subdivision opening): Covers some basic points about personal trauma and rememory as a liminal, radicalizing process, including the therapeutic function of dolls. Length: ~30 pages.
        • 2a2b. “Meeting Jadis; or, Playing with Dolls” (sub-subdivision opening): Explores how Jadis and I met—indeed, were attracted by our mutual weirdness and trauma, and related to each other through toys that were equally sexy and weird. Divides in two halves, which explore further ludo-Gothic qualities to dolls useful during BDSM, which I had to reclaim from Jadis to eventually escape them and write this book with/about. Length: ~104 pages.
        • 2a2c. “Escaping Jadis; or, Running up that Hill“: Articulates my escape from my abuser, detailing the tremendous feelings I felt at the time (and which shaped my scholarly and artistic work afterwards). Length: ~39 pages.
      • 2a3. ” part three: “the Monomyth and Cycle of Kings; or, “Perceptive Zombie Eyeballs”: Paralyzing Zombie Tyrants with Reverse Abjection (and Other Gothic Theories)” (subchapter opening): Considers the monomyth as undead; i.e., undead tyrants per the Cycle of Kings, Gothic chronotope (the castle) and mad science narratives (the Promethean Quest) as something to subvert away from Capitalist Realism. Opening Length: ~19 pages.
        • 2a3a. ” part zero: “Mandy, Homophobia and the Problem of Futile Revenge (feat. H.P. Lovecraft)” (included with subchapter opening): Briefly examines Mandy (2018) as monomythic pastiche par excellence as married to Lovecraftian homophobia, then considers the function of sight as a reverse-abjecting factor in against zombie tyrants’ futile revenge. Length: ~25 pages.
        • 2a3b. ” part one: “‘She Fucks Back’; or, Revisiting The Modern Prometheus through Astronoetics: the Man of Reason and Cartesian Hubris versus the Womb of Nature in Metroidvania” (subdivision opening): Covers the Cartesian hero/man-of-reason and its Metroidvania offshoots: the decayed man of reason versus the Archaic Mother during movement through the hauntological castle; i.e., castle-narratives. Opening Length: ~9 pages.
          • 2a3b1. ” part zero, “‘Men of Reason Suck’; or, Ghosts of Freud in Forbidden Planet, and the Gendered Components of Gothic Space (and Its History of Scholarship) as Tied to Capitalism in Disguise” (included with subdivision opening): Sets the table. Looks at the history of Promethean Gothic expression through people and places, looking at older theatrical works and mythic structures—i.e., about/disguising Capitalism as surviving in more modern examples like Forbidden Planet through which Metroidvania like Metroid operate—then catalogs that history of scholarship (my contributions, some of them) for you to consider and refer back to, when reading parts one and two (the close-reads). Length: ~25 pages.
          • 2a3b2. ” part one, “Away with the Faeries; or, Double Trouble in Axiom Verge“: Considers people first, places (and space) second; i.e., the seemingly Freudian, Amazonomachy-style astronoetics (colonial gaze of planet Earth) and parental themes from Frankenstein and Forbidden Planet, translating nicely into the Metroidvania space, of which we’ll consider through a dialectical-material sense pointed at Thomas Happ’s 2014 one-man-show, Axiom Verge. Length: ~31 pages.
          • 2a3b3. ” part two, “‘Look upon my Works, ye Mighty’; or, the Infernal Concentric Pattern and Rape Play in Hollow Knight and Metroidvania at Large” (sub-subdivision opening): Considers space first, people second; i.e., explores my grad school and postgrad research into Metroidvania, but especially Bakhtin’s chronotope and Aguirre’s infernal concentric pattern in Hollow Knight as informing what eventually became ludo-Gothic BDSM: a means of rape play (whose performative, revolutionary nuances we’ll also unpack). Opening Length: ~2 pages.
            • 2a3b3a. “Geometries in Terror; or, Traces of Aguirre and Bakhtin in Hollow Knight‘s Promethean Castle World” (included in sub-subdivision opening): Outlines Bakhtin and Aguirre in relation to Team Cherry’s Numinous gameworld; i.e., its oddly homely and relaxing setting as something to explore and understand Gothically (through the chronotope and Promethean Quest) as both largely devoid of people while simultaneously being overridden with decay regenerating into different potential outcomes. Length: ~26 pages
            • 2a3b3b. “Policing the Whore; or, Topping from Below to Rise from the Ashes“: Articulates Aguirre and Bakhtin’s ideas per my evolution of ludo-Gothic BDSM after my master’s thesis and into my graduate work, then considers the Promethean Quest as something that presents the whore as normally hunted by police forces, only to escape their subjugation and imprisonment by acting out her own rape; i.e., as Hollow Knight‘s final boss, the Radiance, does. Length: ~53 pages.

        • 2a3c. ” part two: “The Monomyth, part two: Beyond Castles; or, Criminals and Conquerors” (subdivision opening): Considers open-space territories, like cities and battlefields, which per the Promethean Quest are occupied by two other zombie monomyth tyrants: undead heroes and villains—specifically the crime lord and the warlord, fascist cult of death. Opening Length: ~2 pages.
          • 2a3c1. “‘Ruling the Slum’; or, Crime Lords, Police Tokenism and Sell-Outs (feat. The Crow and Steam Powered Giraffe)” (included with subdivision opening): Explores crime lords, in The Crow, as setting up the basic premise; i.e., of paralyzing the monomyth zombie tyrant as something to perform—by looking into the film, but also similar kinds of “punk” performances (e.g., cyber, steam, etc) that historically incur sell-out tokenism and police violence on and offstage, our example being Steam Powered Giraffe. Length: ~27 pages.
          • 2a3c2. “‘A Lesson in Humility’; or, Gay Zombie Caesar (and His Token Servants) When the Boomerang Comes Back Around (feat. Myth: the Fallen Lords)” (sub-subdivision opening): Explores queer aspects to the undead warlord/Zombie Caesar in Myth: the Fallen Lords (and his token, anti-Semitic servant, in Myth II: Soulblighter); i.e., by diving into the game’s DARVO-style, empire apologia, effectively describing how empires-in-decay endlessly recolonize themselves in between monomyth fiction and non-fiction—not just with the raw mechanics of colonialism (chiefly armed conflict) stuck in a self-destructive loop, but spearheaded by past historical figures who, as current genocides committed by the good guys are abjected, return as fascist bogeymen to colonize empire from the outside in. Opening Length: ~3 pages.
            • 2a3c2a. “‘Hail, Caesar!’; or, Balor the Leveler as Gay Zombie Caesar in Myth: the Fallen Lords” (included with sub-subdivision opening): Explores the man himself in Myth: the Fallen Lords, including the game’s Promethean, fatal-warrior mythos reviving Zombie Caesar on loop (the Cycle of Kings) to uphold Capitalist Realism through the zombie monomyth. Length: ~36 pages.
            • 2a3c2b. “‘Hell Hath No Fury’; or, Soulblighter’s Gay Nazi Revenge (and Giants/Female Characters) in Myth II: Soulblighter“: Further unpacks Bungie’s Cycle of Kings (and its various terrorist/counterterrorist double standards) by camping Myth II‘s titular character as a token gay Nazi cop; also considers the franchise’s gigantic and female elements, while linking everything to Capitalism and the zombie monomyth’s Promethean Quest. Length: ~49 pages.
        • 2a3d. part three: “‘That Which Is Not Dead’; or, Capitalism as a Great Zombie(-Vampire)“: Concludes the “Monomyth” section, discussing how Capitalism is the zombie; i.e., one that through its endless undead wars and decayed power fantasies haunting Capitalist Realism (regardless how the tyrant comports)! Length: ~13 pages.
    • 2b. “They Hunger; or, Reintroducing Liminal Expression through Undead Feeding Vectors: the Universal Feeding Mechanism of the Undead” (chapter opening): Articulates what vampires basically are, and what about them we want to study and focus on; also considers the anti-Semitic, fascist, witch-hunt treatment of vampires in Gothic canon, and how we can recognize and subvert not just greedy authors, but various traitors (e.g., TERFs) abusing and policing the same vampire language we’re trying to reclaim! Opening Length: ~13 pages.
  • 3. “Deal with the Devil: Transitioning Modules; or Between Demons and the Undead” (module conclusion): Segues into the Demons Module, whose subsequent promo series shall bear the same name. Length: ~6 pages.

(disclaimer exhibit: Artist: Harmony Corrupted, who provided me with various materials from her Fansly account to use [with her permission] in my book, including cum photos. For those of legal age who enjoy Harmony’s work and want to see more than this website provides, consider subscribing to her Fansly account and then ordering a custom/tipping through her Ko-Fi. You won’t be disappointed!)

Disclaimer

“If it was not good, it was true; if it was not artistic, it was sincere; if it was in bad taste, it was on the side of life.”

—Henry Miller, on criticism and the Supreme-Court-level lawsuit he received for writing The Tropic of Cancer (1934)

Regarding This Book’s Artistic/Pornographic Nudity and Sexual Content: Sex Positivity thoroughly discusses sexuality in popular media, including fetishes, kinks, BDSM, Gothic material, and general sex work; the illustrations it contains have been carefully curated and designed to demonstrate my arguments. It also considers pornography to be art, examining the ways that sex-positive art makes iconoclastic statements against the state. As such, Sex Positivity contains visual examples of sex-positive/sex-coercive artistic nudity borrowed from publicly available sources to make its educational/critical arguments. Said nudity has been left entirely uncensored for those purposes. While explicitly criminal sexual acts, taboos and obscenities are discussed herein, no explicit illustrations thereof are shown, nor anything criminal; i.e., no snuff porn, child porn or revenge porn. It does examine things generally thought of as porn that are unironically violent. Examples of uncensored, erotic artwork and sex work are present, albeit inside exhibits that critique the obscene potential (from a legal standpoint) of their sexual content: “ultimate sexual acts, normal or perverted, actual or simulated, masturbation, excretory functions, lewd exhibition of the genitals, or sado-masochistic sexual abuse” (source: Justice.gov). For instance, there is an illustrated example of uncensored semen—a “breeding kink” exhibit with zombie unicorns and werewolves (exhibit 87a)—that I’ve included to illustrate a particular point, but its purposes are ultimately educational in nature.

The point of this book isn’t to be obscene for its own sake, but to educate the broader public (including teenagers*) about sex-positive artwork and labor historically treated as obscene by the state. For the material herein to be legally considered obscene it would have to simultaneously qualify in three distinct ways (aka the “Miller” test):

  • appeal to prurient interests (i.e., an erotic, lascivious, abnormal, unhealthy, degrading, shameful, or morbid interest in nudity, sex, or excretion)
  • attempt to depict or describe sexual conduct in a patently offensive way (i.e., ultimate sexual acts, normal or perverted, actual or simulated, masturbation, excretory functions, lewd exhibition of the genitals, or sado-masochistic sexual abuse)
  • lack serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value

Taken as a whole, this book discusses debatably prurient material in an academic manner, depicting and describing sexual conduct in a non-offensive way for the express purpose of education vis-à-vis literary-artistic-political enrichment.

*While this book was written for adults—provided to them through my age-gated website—I don’t think it should be denied from curious teenagers through a supervising adult. The primary reason I say this (apart from the trauma-writing sections, which are suitably intense and grave) is that the academic material can only be simplified so far and teenagers probably won’t understand it entirely (which is fine; plenty of books are like that—take years to understand more completely). As for sexually-developing readers younger than 16 (ages 10-15), I honestly think there are far more accessible books that tackle the same basic subject matter more quickly at their reading level. All in all, this book examines erotic art and sex positivity as an alternative to the sex education currently taught (or deliberately not taught) in curricular/extracurricular spheres. It does so in the hopes of improving upon canonical tutelage through artistic, dialectical-material analysis. 

Fair Use: This book is non-profit, and its artwork is meant for education, transformation and critique. For those reasons, the borrowed materials contained herein fall under Fair Use. All sources come from popular media: movies, fantasy artist portfolios, cosplayer shoots, candid photographs, and sex worker catalogs intended for public viewing. Private material has only been used with a collaborating artist’s permission (for this book—e.g., Blxxd Bunny‘s OF material or custom shoots; or as featured in a review of their sex work on my website with their consent already given from having done past work together—e.g., Miss Misery).

Concerning the Exhibit Numbers and Parenthetical Dates: I originally wrote this book as one text, not four volumes. Normally I provide a publication year per primary text once per text—e.g., “Alien (1979)”—but this would mean having to redate various texts in Volumes One, Two and Three after Volume Zero. I have opted out of doing this. Likewise, the exhibit numbers are sequential for the entire book, not per volume; references to a given exhibit code [exhibit 11b2 or 87a] will often refer to exhibits not present in the current volume. I have not addressed this in the first edition of my book, but might assemble a future annotated list in a second edition down the road.

Concerning Hyperlinks: Those that make the source obvious or are preceded by the source author/title will simply be supplied “as is.” This includes artist or book names being links to themselves, but also mere statements of fact, basic events, or word definitions where the hyperlink is the word being defined. Links to sources where the title is not supplied in advance or whose content is otherwise not spelled out will be supplied next to the link in parentheses (excluding Wikipedia, save when directly quoting from the site). One, this will be especially common with YouTube essayists I cite to credit them for their work (though sometimes I will supply just the author’s name; or their name, the title of the essay and its creation year). Two, concerning YouTube links and the odds of videos being taken down, these are ultimately provided for supplementary purposes and do not actually need to be viewed to understand my basic arguments; I generally summarize their own content into a single sentence, but recommend you give any of the videos themselves a watch if you’re curious about the creators’ unique styles and perspectives about a given topic.

Concerning (the PDF) Exhibit Image Quality: This book contains over 1,000 different images, which—combined with the fact that Microsoft Word appears to compress images twice (first, in-document images and second, when converting to PDFs) along with the additional hassle that is WordPress’ limitations on accepting uploaded PDFs (which requires me to compress the PDF again—has resulted in sub-par image quality for the exhibit images themselves. To compensate, all of the hyperlinks link to the original sources where the source images can be found. Sometimes, it links to the individual images, other times to the entire collage, and I try to offer current working links; however, the ephemeral, aliased nature of sex work means that branded images do not always stay online, so some links (especially those to Twitter/X accounts) won’t always lead to a source if the original post is removed.

Concerning Aliases: Sex workers survive through the use of online aliases and the discussion of their trauma requires a degree of anonymity to protect victims from their actual/potential abusers. This book also contains trauma/sexual anecdotes from my own life; it discusses my friends, including sex workers and the alter egos/secret identities they adopt to survive “in the wild.” Keeping with that, all of the names in this book are code names (except for mine, my late Uncle Dave’s and his ex-wife Erica’s—who are only mentioned briefly by their first names). Models/artists desiring a further degree of anonymity (having since quit the business, for example) have been given a codename other than their former branded identity sans hyperlinks (e.g., Jericho).

Extended, Book-Wide Trigger Warning: This entire book thoroughly discusses xenophobia, harmful xenophilia (necrophilia, pedophilia, zoophilia, etc), homophobia, transphobia, enbyphobia, sexism, racism, race-/LGBTQ-related hate crimes/murder and domestic abuse; child abuse, spousal abuse, animal abuse, misogyny and sexual abuse towards all of these groups; power abuse, rape (date, marital, prison, etc), discrimination, war crimes, genocide, religious/secular indoctrination and persecution, conversion therapy, manmade ecological disasters, and fascism.

(artist: Harmony Corrupted)